My Testimony

Everyone is influenced by someone. Everyone that you meet holds the potential to be the tools of the Lord to change you, but only some are used as such. This blog post is being written to acknowledge the people in my life who have been influential to my growth in Christ. Firstly I wish to acknowledge St. Mark's Lutheran Church; my home congregation, and all the people therein. I also wish to acknowledge the 2009 decision in the ELCA which I have blogged on before. That singular event more than any other made me realize that complacency is the greatest evil a man can have.

The Navigators ministry on campus has also been a huge influence to my growth. When I came to campus JP and Alfred came into my dorm room and invited me to come have pizza and a bible study. Naturally I went for pizza, and having some interest in religion, signed up for a bible study. Alfred and Tyler Bennett led the bible study through John of which I was the only student. Still, Tyler met with me once a week for breakfast and a quiet time, and sporadically throughout the week to talk about religion, patiently listen to my questions (sometimes arguments) and share with me the gospel truth, on top of the weekly bible study. Because of that, I would consider Tyler a huge reason of why I am here today. The Lord used him mightily in my life. During this time I realized my need for God and began to force myself to read the bible more and more. As time progressed I realized my need for obedience and began to force myself to uphold the basic laws and expectations Christians should be living up to. The Navigator ministry as a whole was very good to me in the fact that they believe the bible to be the authoritative word of God. I was want to say that 'the bible is written by man and falliable' and the navigators would not tolerate such. Tyler himself was forced to hear this complaint repeatedly and yet never lost his patience in telling me that I was wrong.

The next major step in my journey was that of Joel Iliff. I met him at a Nav event and my first impression was that he was hopelessly weird. I still hold this view (just kidding Joel)...but what really got me about him was that he believed the bible, not just a 'yeah I guess so', but a whole hearted unapologetic belief that bordered on insanity. He specifically defended the doctrine of predestination which at the time I hated with a passion. Don't bother to tell me any arguments against it, I have spoken them all, I have believed them all. Joel was used by the Holy Spirit to subdue me unto the will of God. Joel knows this, that he could have never swayed my mind, as stubborn as I was, yet the Holy Spirit would not tolerate my disbelief, and thus God changed not only my mind, but my heart. Joel did not have the un-anger-able patience of Tyler, but none-the-less he stated the gospel truthfully and refused to give in to my arguments to the contrary, God be praised! Thus I truly began to want to read my bible, I began to want to please God.

So for a couple months I strove with all my might to be good enough for God. I gave 100% of me to being the perfect image of the Christian, to being a good navigator, to attaining my salvation. Then, on the MLK 2010 retreat with the Navigators, a friend (whom shall remain nameless because I don't have their express consent to write about them) confessed a lack of belief, a lack of trust. It hit me right then that I was so guilty of the same thing. In that moment I truly realized that I was saved, not by my works or belief or obedience but by the saving Grace of God alone by faith alone. Thus I laid my disbelief down at God's feet and swore to dwell on it no more. I then truly felt the Grace of God in my life, and since then, great change has occurred in my life.

Not only that the Spirit has been at work, but that I have been blessed to live with Joel this year who is always willing to talk about deep spiritual matters, and like Tyler tolerate my dumbest questions which reveal my ignorance in patience so that I might be ignorant no longer. Joel, knowing how to translate Greek from the original writings into English on his own has been a great help in understanding how to interpret many passages. In addition to this I have been blessed with Joel and Alek's patience with my impatience. The two of them have been listening to what I say and how I say it and have been careful to point out when I'm not being as loving as I should be. Between Tyler, Joel, Alek, and the Holy Spirit of God, I am now set on fire with a desire for Holiness, for Truth, for Grace. I am Matthew Shealy, and that is my testimony.